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Making an exhibition of myself My husband, Andrew, decided that we were to move to the country and he would commute. All the way up." Not knowing how I managed it I pulled my dress up to my waist. The full length of my legs on view, the tarty looking suspender belt, the new expensive stockings, the sky blue silk knickers that clasped my mound and hopefully did not show I was damp down there. " I nodded in a mixture of humiliation and pride at her compliments. I knew my face was burning but I could cope with that. "Oh not often," I said evasively but she sat there waiting. I loved the new house, it was much bigger and nicer. He was in favour of that too, though I missed the interaction and some feeling of worth. The first was a woman down the same lane as that on which our house stood, Angela. I could feel the slight cool above my stockings, I could feel her looking at me. I didn't know why but I wanted desperately for her to like my legs, like what she saw. "Now you can drop your skirts and sit with me again. I had never even admitted masturbating to anyone in my life. "About once a day." My voice was breaking, my face radiating. I became more and more at ease, though I still couldn't keep eye contact with her as she seemed so strong and I felt she could read me. After we had been talking for about an hour she asked me about my husband and I told her all I could. " I was quite shocked but after becoming used to answering so fully previously it just seemed to pop out.

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I could feel Jane's leg against mine though we didn't speak to each other after we sat down but I felt safer with her, what felt like, protective presence. It was obvious he didn't say much, but what he did was loaded. Feeling quite girly I took her into the kitchen and uncorked the bottle before taking it and Jane into the sitting room.

I couldn't stop fussing over my hair and my face was aching smiling so much. He looked at the dogs and they got up, looked at Jane and trotted off behind Tom. His wife, Beth, helps me in the house too." "Does your husband help on the farm?

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I found myself sitting just opposite Jane and from the moment I sat down felt her eyes on me. I don't know anyone else." I felt her eyes on me and I felt I sounded a little pathetic. I would have to wait till the morning until he had gone.

Although her gaze was not aggressive, she even smiled, I felt that I had made some mistake or was sitting in someones place. I would have dashed off if I hadn't felt held by her presence. I'll hold your hand." In bed that night, as my husband snored beside me, I couldn't get her out of my mind. I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours until sleep finally came.

But it was nice in many ways not working and it felt much safer here. I didn't see her often and, before she moved away, our friendship wasn't deep, but she did introduce me to a local women's group. I was made to turn around, making sure my dress was still high at the back too. Take another drink." Gratefully I dropped my skirts and sat down.

The first time I attended I sat quietly with Angela and watched and listened as everyone else chatted, ate a light lunch and drank. I took a drink and gulped too much, reducing myself to coughing, feeling like a little girl.

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